Recently in Heartland News Category
http://www.elburnherald.com/features2008/momsanddads1002.asp
Make marriage a top priority by Gwen Allen
As said in a once famous song, “Love and marriage… love and marriage, it's an institute you can't disparage.” Marriage is sacred, especially in the beginning when the hope of a happy future arrives in the exchange of “I do.” But as the years wear on and children enter the picture, bringing a lack of sleep and sometimes sanity, marriage can change, occasionally for the worse. “Most marriages hit a low point when their kids are little, because their lives revolve around the needs of the children,” said Michael Mangis, PhD, licensed psychologist and director of Heartland Counseling. “So it is easy to let the relationship go. The problem is, when the kids get older and take less of their parents' time, some couples never reconnect.” To preserve and protect the once-sacred union, Mangis said couples should take care early, before problems begin to develop. “We like to call it marriage enrichment,” Mangis said. “We want couples to begin communicating before they have a problem, either with an older couple that serves as a mentor, their pastor or a counselor. Every relationship can benefit from an outside ear, even if it is just once or twice.” With this approach, couples, especially those with little children, keep marriage front and center rather then letting it take a back seat, he said. In addition, Mangis advises couples to connect with one-on-one communication at least one night a week and to take at least one date-night out a month. “The time alone, together, should be spent in a relaxing, fun way without the focus on the kids,” Mangis said. “Don't spend this time airing frustrations, either about the kids or the relationship, because the other person may start dreading the time together.” In another way to connect, he advises couples choose a hobby that is mutually enjoyed and done preferably without children. “Dancing or a cooking class are great examples, because they allow you to do something fun together while sneaking in another date night,” Mangis said. Even better are outdoor dates, he said. It is an easy way to get exercise, reconnect with nature and each other. Couples tired of dinner and a movie may find renewed energy in the relationship from a daytime date. Mangis said although time together is good for a marriage, he also encourages time apart. “Each partner needs to have separate friends, that they enjoy separate activities with, like bowling or going out for coffee,” Mangis said. “Having their own hobby or separate friends actually helps the marriage, as long as it is equal time out.” Although time away from kids, either together or apart, is needed for a healthy marriage, he said a lot of couples remain reluctant in fear of hurting their children. “It's actually good and healthy (for children) to learn and cope with other caring adults other then their parents,” Mangis said. “It builds their confidence, so you're not taking something away from them; rather you are modeling a healthy relationship.” Heartland Counseling, in Elburn, is a nonprofit organization that provides a full range of psychological services for all ages. For ideas to stay connected to your spouse, turn to page 7B 05/09/2008
Make marriage a top priority by Gwen Allen
As said in a once famous song, “Love and marriage… love and marriage, it's an institute you can't disparage.” Marriage is sacred, especially in the beginning when the hope of a happy future arrives in the exchange of “I do.” But as the years wear on and children enter the picture, bringing a lack of sleep and sometimes sanity, marriage can change, occasionally for the worse. “Most marriages hit a low point when their kids are little, because their lives revolve around the needs of the children,” said Michael Mangis, PhD, licensed psychologist and director of Heartland Counseling. “So it is easy to let the relationship go. The problem is, when the kids get older and take less of their parents' time, some couples never reconnect.” To preserve and protect the once-sacred union, Mangis said couples should take care early, before problems begin to develop. “We like to call it marriage enrichment,” Mangis said. “We want couples to begin communicating before they have a problem, either with an older couple that serves as a mentor, their pastor or a counselor. Every relationship can benefit from an outside ear, even if it is just once or twice.” With this approach, couples, especially those with little children, keep marriage front and center rather then letting it take a back seat, he said. In addition, Mangis advises couples to connect with one-on-one communication at least one night a week and to take at least one date-night out a month. “The time alone, together, should be spent in a relaxing, fun way without the focus on the kids,” Mangis said. “Don't spend this time airing frustrations, either about the kids or the relationship, because the other person may start dreading the time together.” In another way to connect, he advises couples choose a hobby that is mutually enjoyed and done preferably without children. “Dancing or a cooking class are great examples, because they allow you to do something fun together while sneaking in another date night,” Mangis said. Even better are outdoor dates, he said. It is an easy way to get exercise, reconnect with nature and each other. Couples tired of dinner and a movie may find renewed energy in the relationship from a daytime date. Mangis said although time together is good for a marriage, he also encourages time apart. “Each partner needs to have separate friends, that they enjoy separate activities with, like bowling or going out for coffee,” Mangis said. “Having their own hobby or separate friends actually helps the marriage, as long as it is equal time out.” Although time away from kids, either together or apart, is needed for a healthy marriage, he said a lot of couples remain reluctant in fear of hurting their children. “It's actually good and healthy (for children) to learn and cope with other caring adults other then their parents,” Mangis said. “It builds their confidence, so you're not taking something away from them; rather you are modeling a healthy relationship.” Heartland Counseling, in Elburn, is a nonprofit organization that provides a full range of psychological services for all ages. For ideas to stay connected to your spouse, turn to page 7B 05/09/2008
Mental Health Care in Rural Communities
Dr. Michael Mangis and former Heartland Counseling intern, Natalie Sandbulte, presented on the mental health needs in rural communities at Dordt College in Northwest Iowa.
http://www.dordt.edu/cgi-bin/news/get_news.pl?id=2903
Heartland Counseling mourns, with our community, the tragedy at Northern Illinois University. Our prayers and support go out to all who were affected by this painful event.
We have created a brochure which may help some recovering from this event. Download it here.
Those who were in the auditorium at the time of the shooting are not the only ones impacted by the event. People who have experienced past traumas may find that they feel more anxious after something hits this close to home. We all feel more vulnerable and events like that at NIU remind us that our world feels less safe.
While most of us rely on friends and neighbors to help us through such times some will find that the usual means of coping aren't enough. If you find yourself with symptoms of anxiety, sleeplessness or depression that don't lessen with the usual passage of time, please give us a call. The mental health professionals at Heartland are trained and equipped to help at times like these.
Heartland Counseling staff will present sessions in a teacher inservice day at Kaneland Schools on February 29. The all-day workshop will feature training on:
- Socio-Emotional Learning
- Cultural Diversity
- Classroom Management and Intervention Strategies
- Managing Teacher Stress
Heartland Counseling can provide workshops on a variety of topics for your organization. See our list of topics at http://heartlandcounseling.org/speakers.html
At Heartland Counseling we value the service and sacrifice made by our nation's military personnel. We know that mental health services can be difficult to find within the approved military healthcare system. We welcome military personnel and their families at Heartland. We will explore your benefits and advocate for you to receive your services with us if possible. If that is not possible we commit to making our services available to you at a greatly reduced rate. Please contact us and let us help. We'd like to give something back to you.
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Heartland Counseling is proud to announce our collaboration with Ramon Marquez, M.D. who will be seeing patients at Heartland on Wednesday mornings. Dr. Marquez is originally from Chicago and did his training at the University of Illinois. He has joined the staff of Foroutan & Associates in Sycamore.
Dr. Marquez's staff will keep his appointment schedule for appointments at Heartland. Please contact them directly to make an appointment and to confirm your insurance coverage for appointments with him.
We are happy to be joined this year by Jeremy Bidwell, M.A., M.S.. Jeremy is completing his doctoral work at Nova Southeastern University where he also completed a master's degree in psychopharmacology.
We are also joined, one day a week, by Karen Hutcheson who brings a strong interest in church-psychology consultation
Andi Pauley, our predoctoral intern during the 2006-07 year, has stayed on at Heartland Counseling as our Clinic Director. Andi brings her expertise with Autism Spectrum Disorders, including autism and Aspergers Disorder.
Joel Cagwin recently became certified to perform premarital counseling using the widely respected Prepare and Enrich model.
